Looking back on “義務教育” schooling that i had to attend (there’s mad high school dropouts so it’s not gimu kyouiku in america or it’s not enforced?? lol) . i really don’t agree with some of the methods of learning… ie busy work like copying crap or copying crap multiple times or just writing mindless stuff in general. In short I resented it then and I resent it more now because of the success and trials I’ve had with Japanese and even Korean to some extent (I totally consider Korean a behemoth lol. That’s my subjective opinion that I will probably never drop or at least not for a while).  I’ll give examples and I hope that you can’t relate to whta I’ve experienced because it’s so INEFFECTIVE and time-sinking but… there’s probably a high probability you did unless you were home-schooled?

Ex: English Class – only thing i can recall that is germane is vocabulary tests. Everyone has their own methods. I do the remember and forget as fast as possible method lol which requires no writing… which i consider “busy work”. I just use my brain and remember it before the test and forget it afterwards (I alreayd did the initial work of looking up the words and writing down the definitions as part of the previous homework so… ). So the teacher had this policy that if you used flashcards to learn vocabulary and you brought the voabulary cards in you get an extra 5 points or something on your quiz. I was thinking I’d rather not do busy work even if it’s 5 extra points… I’l just get the 97 or 100 or wahtever on the actualquiz and move the hell on. The cost/benefits were just really obvious to me. I tihnk most of my peers including my friends made the flashcards and blahblahblah because i guess they didn’t mind whatever whatever. Something in me was like this shit makes no sense. I understand she’s just trying to encourage people to study and learn snce american kids are so “dumb” and unmotivated and irresponsible and “not scared/intimated” of the teachers lol.   I’m not pissed about the 5 points x number of vocab tests at all… it’s so beneath me with the busy work. I just find it so dumb. Maybe some poeple do find flashcards so helpful but I honestly can’t imagine why it is… I already have a piece of looseleaf paper with the word and definitions…. why copy it again…dude.

Spanish/ French – there was a lot of copy all the dialogue for homework or copy the vocab x number of times.. there was also make flashcards of all these verbs and nouns or wahtever. Obviously that’s really pointlesssssssssss lol. Even now I would never ever ever ever make a “notebok” for japanese or korean  where i copy dialogue or vocab or grammar or anything like that… it’s not gonna help me remember at least not as much as encountering it in different contexts (immersion/comprehensive input/exposure etc etc) with AUDIO (the time/cost/benefit equation just….. is spinning in my head). HELLO A LANGUAGE IS FRIKIN’ ALIVE and spoken by lotsa people around the world. it can only thrive so much on a piece paper especially when i have close 0 hours of listneing hours (im’ referring to spanish/french of course)

I’m glad that I never atetended japnaese class and never had to waste time doing crap like that that obviously is not conducive to learning… at least not nearly as efficient as anything else.  I love having free reign on my japanes studying/well nowadays it really isn’t studying considering what i do and how much i understand etc.  I hope to god nobody was “brainwashed” from school that x is an effective way of learning when it really is not. You should be suspicious and doubt it…  I encourage people to try different study methods whether it’s language or some subject in school etc etc and not just blindly follow/believe whatever they’ve made you do for 12 yers or however many dpeending on how many times you got held back lol… super seniors…. just no.

For my japanese studies, from the beginning I resisted writing stuff down superfluously. I did have a brief period where I did that for kanji a little bit && that was only because I didn’t know about RTK. And even if you write the kanji 2 billion times, you can still not be able to write it the next day lol (I know this from experience and it wasn’t 2 billion times btw lol)…. learning about the radicals or the story as to how the kanji or the radical came about or stroke order or just heisig is so much BETTER than writing/copying shit over and over… i know they do that in korea and it’s so dumb.

I think this is part of that argument about school killing creativity or killing thinking in children . it makes sense. if you write it over and over and can’t remember it  … it’s because you’re not thinking because after th3 rd copy it becomes it mindless. it’s all about strategy… study methods.

for a more specific example… i resisted the mind-numbing write write write for learning hiragana and katakna. I remember looking at it on the computer on tae kim’s guide or something and just trying to memorize it hardcore right then and there. It’s okay if I forget some but my intention to memorize most if not all of those suckers. then I took a board and marker and just tried to remember and write whatever i could after the computer was turned off (or maybe i just truned the screen off, I don’t remember). I remember I noticed most of them except a couple.  I was more focused on the stroke order than being able to “write” it. I knew that even if I was able to write everything without looking at anything  at that moment it wouldn’t continue to the next day or even the next week… that I will most likely forget or BLANK OUT (I’ve only started exposing myself to japanese no duhs). I undersatnd that, I accept that, and I will work with that. Iknew from reading/exposing myself to japanese I would remember how to write it effortlessly and whatnot. What I can’t get from just exposure is stroke order. Like I remember looking at あ and learning the stroke order and go ohhh that makes sense. if you don’t know it’s intidimiating and maybe if I guessed I migght’ve figured it out after a while or whatever but it’s a waste of time to “guess” when it’s available”.  My hypothesis was absolutely right.. I don’t blank out or anything because I read a SHIT LOAD of japanese and  I did not write/copy over and over and over…. I think that time could be put to better use and i really look down on people who do the write itdown over and over especially “alphabet” (yeah hiragnaa/kataknaa is not alaphbet but more like phonetic characters?) because they’re not even words. you’re just writing gibberish… wtf.  Those people piss me off… they remind me of attention whores to some degree. it’s sorta they’re trying to appeal to his/herself or other people ” i’m working so hard towards x look at all the shit i wrote and the time it took for me to write it.” All i’m thinking in my head is you’re a fucking idiot. hence i have strong resentment of the crap I was forced to do in middle/high school /leemntary school. of course there’s no point getting mad at the time or even now because I can’t get my time/effort back but from now on I can choose wahtever study method I want.  It’s good that I learned from the past that those methods don’t work. what pisses me off is it doesn’t take me that many repetitions or experiences to figure out that it’s pointless and useless yet i’m forced to do it because i’m school.  I was a pretty seemingly calm, obedient student so I followed the rules of the assignment as I completed them and whatnot and  didn’t really dissect the pointlessness of what I was doing… but I think the me at that time felt the pointlessness to some extent and I just didn’t bother to really FACE it. Even if I did and blbahblah it  doesn’t change the fact that i have to do this shit

Speaking of “appealing””insinuating” etc etc.  I wanted to write about the role of japanese to my identity. I think some people use that to “feel special” “feel worth” and whatnot but honestly I don’t add it my specialness nor my worth. the bottom line is there are so many people who speak/understand/write better english/japanese than me ie other japanese learners or halves or japanese-americans or translators. Not to mention they probably have other talents and/or succeed at other things and/or have good jobs or make money off of their language abilities etc etc. I learn japanese for myself. I use it for myself. there’s no point feeling special/more worthy over it…. you’ll eventually find out that you’re a loser since you’ve been near-sighted to have the audacity to think that japanse makes you special.  it’s a poor man’s excuse to feel worth/special imo lol.  you know that for some REASON there’s a trend that anime fans are “losers” especially the american ones? it’s sorta like that? Me being proficient in japanese doesn’t change the fact that by society stands I’m failing lol. well I’ll see if I reallly am.

2 thoughts on “Resentment

  1. koreannotebook

    I agree with you that in society if you are an anime lover/and watcher you are somehow characterized as a looser/ or a failure DX and its really a silly assumption because honestly most of us are watching this for a reason to learn a language and 1/2 of the reason is because all Anime is totally daebak haha :p

    Oh on a side not :- I was home schooled for a long time haha (: much better I could create my own way or doing my lessons and I would actually enjoy all lessons ^___^


    1. choronghi Post author

      UHHH i actually think there is a trend of anime fans being losers lol from what i’ve seen in real life. I can’t think any better word than “loser” to be honest. “anime” fan is so broad anyway because there’s so much anime out there. there’s a high probability i htae all the anime somebody puts in their top 10… we’re both stilll anime fans it’s just we have different tastes.

      I don’t watch anime to learn japanese. what I mean by that is the NUMBER ONE reason that i watch anime is because I like the show and the japanese learning is absolutely secondary. there’s absolutely no need to force yourself to watch shit anime just because japanese subs are available etc etc hence my last 2 posts about anime wa sme learning japanese from anime with no japanese subs. if i tried to force myself with some popular/”epic” new anime with japanese subs there’s probably a high i will find that show to be complete shit and stop watching anime altogether lolz.

      and i’m jealous of the home schoolin.



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